hard ship turns blue/

you may not know

how many years a head i've changed myself cruelly into a new me,,, a bad me... kinda fragile i must say... it stinks someway somwhow...
and when you matter to understand things,,,
human are so complicated that i myself cant understand why we are here from the start??
so i blame myself to be this cruel creature of mankind
not that i blame them
nor the society
its just that
i dont deserved to loved




but
when sudden he fell down right beside me
from no where and how or when
it freaks me out
mentally
physicly

am i really damn ready to have all it start from begining again when everything has fallen to parts???

is he willing to take me
every each part of me,,,?

i wonder
shameless me,,,


he
who is willing to


i thank you so much

dear god,,,
is this your way of saying
you still care about me,,,,


me
the missing me
the silly
unwanted me....

i am

nothing....
less?